Everyone has experienced approach anxiety at some point, and the stories are virtually identical. You see a hot girl in a club, you make the decision to go and talk to her, then you’re crippled with fear and let the moment pass without so much as a smile in her direction.
How do you overcome your fear of approaching women?
So how do you stop a one off missed opportunity from becoming a problem every time you go out? Follow these tips and you’ll soon find you can overcome your fear of approaching women.
1. Make your approach fun
Take the seriousness out of the approach by turning it into a game or making a bet with your wingman. Try giving him everything you have in your pockets, and tell him he can only give you one thing back each time you approach a woman. You’ll start putting the work in, if only to get into your house at the end of the night.
2. Practise makes perfect
Talk to random people as much as you can. If you can feel comfortable with talking to strangers every day, you’ll find there’s very little difference talking to hot women you don’t know. You can even practise on the way to the club by going to a bar first. Tell yourself that you’re only warming up and these approaches don’t count, and you’ll immediately take the pressure off and feel more comfortable.
3. Be positive
If you tell yourself that you’re going to fail, how can you expect to overcome your fear of approaching women? You need to look confident when approaching a woman, and you’re not going to do that if you convince yourself that you’ll be rejected before you get anywhere near her. Get into a positive mindset, and try to award yourself small victories. Find a positive point to every approach, and each one will become easier.
4. Go to places where you know you’ll have a good time
If you aren’t having a good time, you’ll instantly feel more self-conscious when you try and talk to women, your anxiety will be worse and making that approach will seem harder. If you are having a good time, you’ll automatically relax and feel more comfortable. Women will pick up on this and be more relaxed around you. And even if your approaches aren’t successful, at least you can enjoy the night with your mates.
5. Get a good wingman
If you have a good wingman by your side, they’ll give you all the encouragement you need to approach any hot woman in the club. They can help take the pressure off by talking to her friends, so you don’t feel you have an audience when you try to talk to her. They’ll also help you shake off any rejection and won’t let it stop you from trying again.
6. Start with someone you feel comfortable approaching
If you’re feeling approach anxiety, start off by talking to a woman you feel comfortable with. You’re not committing to a relationship, you can just talk to a woman at the bar while you’re waiting for a drink. Once you’ve started talking to any woman in the club, you can work your way up to talking to the hottest girl there.
7. Don’t let fear stop you
Every man experiences anxiety or fear at some point in his life. The key is not to let it stop you. Think of it as an adrenaline rush – something to be excited about rather than something to stand in your way. Feel the fear, and do it anyway.