“I think we should just be friends…”
“I like you… as a friend…”
“You’re my best friend, I can tell you anything. Speaking of which, I really like that guy over there…”
Ouch. These are words no man ever wants to hear from the woman he wants a relationship with. These are words that he has totally failed to avoid the friendzone, a place that is pretty much impossible to get out of. It means he is nice – great, in fact – but not exactly dating material. Not sexually desirable. Not someone she could see herself settling down with.
Man, that does hurt.
And I bet it’s happened to you. It’s certainly happened to me. But not anymore. I’ve got plenty of friends, I don’t need any additional ones, and I’m determined not to get put into the dreaded friendzone again. Avoiding the friendzone is my new mission in life. So I’ve worked out a surefire way to keep as far away from there as possible.
I’m Sexy and I Know It
Right? Wrong? Right! You’ve got to believe it if it’s going to be true. I know, there are some people who are just genuinely attractive, really sexy, and they have no idea… Or so they want you to think. But it’s not true. No one can go through life not knowing that they are ultra-attractive to the opposite sex. It’s just not possible, mainly due to all the people trying to get them into bed, and because they avoid the friendzone every time.
Basically, that’s what it takes. You need to persuade the woman of your affection that you are sexy. That’s it. So we need to work on how to do that.
When we’re kids we’re told that teasing is unkind. We don’t do it, and we especially don’t do it to our friends. But are we looking for friends when we’re keen to attract a beautiful woman? No. No, we are not. Which is why teasing is perfectly fine, and a great way to avoid the friendzone. It tells us guys where we stand, and gives the girls a bit of a hint that we might have more to us than we showed initially. It’s about setting the bait, and waiting for someone to bite. Say something playful, something flirty and teasing, something that, taken in the right context, could be sexual, although make it ambiguous.
If you get it right, she’ll look at you in a certain way. She’ll try to work out whether you meant what you said in the way she’d like you to mean it. Don’t lose eye contact. Let her speak first. How she reacts tells you where you stand, but even if she doesn’t exactly like what you said, because it was ambiguous she won’t have relegated you just yet; you’ve still managed to avoid the friendzone.
Another way to avoid the friendzone is to role play. I’m not talking Fifty Shades here (at least not at this stage!), I’m talking about using your imagination to play a game that makes you look and sound as sexy as hell. A story that will make you irresistible.
Be crazy, be OTT, you don’t want her to think you’re serious this time. You need her to know what you’re saying is a joke. But what you really need is for her to respond to that joke, and play her part. So make it easy! Tell her she’s seducing you and that you’re just an innocent boy from the country, for example. Have fun with it. Make it sexual, in a fun kind of way. Make her laugh but remind her that you are a sexy, attractive guy.
What If I Could
The final technique to avoid the friendzone is to put up barriers – totally false, ridiculous barriers – as to why she can’t have you. It could get messy here (in a non-fun sort of way) if you accidentally insult the woman you’re meant to be playing with, so be careful. If you’re going to suggest you can’t have sex because you bet she doesn’t kiss well, you better make sure she knows you’re joking. You want her to ‘prove’ to you she’s a good kisser, not kick you out of the house so fast you sail right past the friendzone and way out into the far reaches of space. Think before you speak, enjoy the back and forth, and remember… you’re sexy and you know it (and now, so does she)!