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Young flirty couple with wine at a club lounge

That horrible moment when you think you’re onto a winner, you make your move, and you get turned down. There is nothing quite as demoralising as that, is there? And yet, you were so sure! You were certain she was flirtin’. But, since she clearly wasn’t, it must have been you who misread those all-important signs, and therefore you who needs to brush up on knowing when someone is friendly or flirty.
Not sure how? We’ve got some helpful hints.


Loads of Little Touches

If you’re not sure whether a girl is being friendly or flirty, there are a number of ways to get to the bottom of the riddle – and hopefully come away with a phone number at the very least. One of these ways is to notice when she touches you. If she gently strokes your arm whilst she’s talking to you, absentmindedly brushes against you, accidentally plays footsie with you (and then realises and giggles in a cute kind of way – bonus sign), then she would appear to be flirting. A friend might slap you on the back, they might tap you on the arm, but they won’t do much more than that. Plus, if she keeps at it for a prolonged period of time, she’s into you. You’d better say or do something before she thinks you’re not into her!


She Wants You To Notice Her

Friendly or flirty? Well, would a woman you’re friends with keep showing off her… assets? Will she keep readjusting her top (which ‘accidently’ gives you a glimpse of the goods)? Will she unbutton the top of her blouse (possibly under the pretence that she’s too warm)? Will she allow her skirt to rise up that little bit too high without hurriedly pulling it down again, embarrassed? No. That’s not what friends do. That’s what women who are flirting do. Keep an eye out (as though we need to encourage you!) for these signs and you’ll soon catch whether she’s friendly or flirty.


She Wants To Know More

You’re sitting with a woman you’ve just met and she’s asking you questions. And she’s not a police officer. So she actually really wants to know more about you. Someone who isn’t interested – and isn’t flirting – won’t bother to think up more and more questions, and they certainly won’t want to listen to the answers. So if she’s asking and paying attention, she’s much more flirty than friendly. If this is the case, give her good, honest answers by the way, because if you lie now you’ll have the devil of a time fixing it all if you end up in a relationship with her. And make it interesting, because if you turn out to be a boring kind of guy, she might stop flirting altogether. Ouch.


She Compliments You

If she’s interested she’ll tell you – almost literally – in oh so many ways. That includes offering you loads of compliments. She might tell you your shirt is nice, your hair looks good, she likes your accent, your glasses, the way you drink your beer (okay, maybe not that last one, but who knows?) Whatever it is, friendly or flirting, if she’s taking the time to not only notice these things but let you know about them, it’s probably flirting.


She Tells You Stuff

This stuff is not just any stuff. If you’re having a conversation with someone and you’re both talking, then both of you will tell one another stuff. That’s how conversations work. But when you’re wondering if she’s friendly or flirting, listen to what she’s saying. Has she mentioned – even if it’s subtle – that she is single? That she might like to go out with you? Has she even mentioned sex (even as a joke)? Flirting!


There’s Eye Contact

Yes, it’s nice and sociable to make eye contact with the person you’re talking to because otherwise you’ll come across as a bit weird. But if she prolongs that eye contact, shyly looking away if you happen to meet her eye or stare at her for too long (she’s in charge her), before looking back, the question of friendly or flirting shouldn’t come into it. It’s flirting all the way.

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