Okay, perhaps we should be a bit more specific. Of course, most women love to be wined and dined, and they wouldn’t say no if you asked them, but there’s so much more to a successful date than that – and we know the perfect way to ensure a women’s interest. Talk to her… No, really!
Once Upon A Time…
I’ll tell you a story. I was having a conversation with a woman once (not such a rare event, as it happens, although the content of this discussion was… different to the norm) and we began to talk about whether or not men should pay all the time when dating a woman, or whether it should be a shared expense. What exactly makes a ‘successful date’?
The woman I was talking to told me that men should definitely pay for everything. One hundred percent.
What the What?
I was totally confused. This woman who, I should probably point out, was actually my mother, and who had brought me up believing that women were equal to men, was now suggesting that I practically bankrupt myself taking them out and about. Really? I’ll admit I was shocked. I thought she was joking. I called her on it.
She was absolutely serious. Although she hadn’t ever admitted it before, a man spending money on her was, in her mind, a successful date.
And it got me thinking – big thinking that hurt my head – about all the dates I’d been on before. The ones I’d thought had been a successful date, but which may actually have been exactly the opposite because I wasn’t thinking along these lines. Wow. I mean, this was totally new to me. But should it have been?
How The World Works
The thing is, when someone knows that have something someone else wants, their price starts to increase. That’s basic economics. So when someone – male or female, to be fair – knows they are wanted, they can start to get away with a little more in the funding stakes. Get it?
The problem with that is, once you start paying for everything you lose control. You’re caught. And at that point (once you realise what’s happened because it may not be obvious at first), you can do one of two things; you can keep pursuing, or you can stop. One costs cash, the other costs your heart (I’m not trying to get too soppy here, but come on, it’s the truth). Successful date or not, if you’re losing money or being used, that’s not good.
Since we don’t want either of these things to happen, we have to assume that my mother – wonderful woman that she is – is not the dating guru she claims to be. A successful date does not hinge on how much money you’re willing to pay. A successful date is all about understanding the mind of a woman and working on that basis. It’s not about telling the woman that she is wanted – that gives you nothing but problems, and you will immediately lose control of the situation (and your bank account).
That’s not to say buying a woman dinner is a bad idea. It’s just that you need to be a little more selective when it comes to splashing the cash. The point is not to prove that you are willing to spend more and more money to find out more and the woman you want to date. You don’t have to. To find out more, you spend more time with her – but that doesn’t have to cost money. A walk in the park, going to a party, exploring a new part of town… Anything. Make it fun, make it interesting, make it so she doesn’t even notice you’re not spending anything.
Oh, The Places We’ll Go! A Successful Date and What Comes Next
Be creative on dates. Women (and men, let’s be honest here) love someone spontaneous, someone with a bit of flare when it comes to having a good time. Pick an activity that forces you to talk to your date. A dinner, although intimate in the sense that you are sitting inches away from one another, isn’t designed for conversation. It’s designed for eating. So are you really going to get all the info you want and need in a restaurant?
Try something different, and make sure it is something that doesn’t say I’m willing to spend a fortune on you right off the bat!
You’ll be amazed at the difference it makes. A successful date is what you make it – so make it a good one.